No one ever wants to talk about this topic but it exists, “SUICIDE”. It’s not an option for me.  Yes thoughts of suicide on bad days have differently floated through.  I am on bed rest for the week. The weather is cold and my bones are breaking along with a nice electrical charge. RSD and I are not working together it my nemeses. I have had this disease for seven years I know all the tricks in the book to feel better but for today nothing is working. So instead, I thank god no one is here so I can scream and cry at will. Can’t sleep,  just want to pass out or have god lift the pain. I need to pull it together. Put on that smile and pretend like nothing is wrong when the kids come through the door. I realized along time ago that I was a lucky individual with the disease. I survived the disease killing me and have a lot of  family support. What does not kill you only makes you stronger. Pain is a feeling and feelings can be suppressed.

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